Saturday, March 07, 2009Y
I hate making decisions, especially big ones.
It's really traumatic that you had to get results that are in the middle of nowhere.
I REALLY wanted to be a vet and I do qualify! Just that our pathetic small dot has nowhere that offers veternary science and I have to go overseas. It doesn't help either that everyone else is laughing at me, saying that I'm childish for thinking of doing vet. I don't get it! Suddenly it's like wrong to have dreams and aspirations. So for having thoughts of doing something 'un-pragmatic' is termed 'childish?'
In any case I spoke to Dr Koh about it today during work about taking up vet. And she goes,
'when you come back to S'pore, u really have to set up your own clinic and actually treat pets you know, otherwise you're going to end up in AVA certifying Airpork everyday. Not very fun hor...' Which, despite it being a joke, had me agreeing with her. Then Dr Koh goes on to say, '
maybe you want to try studying in New Zealand? Cos there's like more sheep and cow population than that of humans.' <-- Is this for real?!!!
(Update: Just confirmed with Charlene, she said driving on the roads can just keep seeing sheeps.) Plus taking vet takes like, 6 yrs? Dr Koh teased me,'
when you get back you're 26! Still no boyfriend you know! Unless you want ang moh la.' Omg..I going to be jobless and boyfriend-less when I get back. How come nothing of this 'vet' thing sounds good? If it's not pork, its sheep, and now...SINGLE.
BLEAK I TELL YOU.
This disgusting shit scares me...=(So I thought about plan B, and I was thinking of life science and discussing it with Ailing. She showed me this site:
http://madnessreloaded.blogspot.com/2006/10/what-is-worse-than-being-nus-grad.html which is like kinda funny but its also true. It sounds like life science is so out of the option. Cos..I don't want to be washing test tubes? -.-
Ms Chong just added me on FB and she asked about s05's results. I almost teared because I've really disappointed her and at that point I really didn't want to tell her my GP grades. But I thought she's really been one of the best things that happened to me during my JC life that no matter what, I still had to let her know how I fared. It's the least I could do. She's hasn't replied yet though. GP was really a nightmare. I promised her a B and I am far from it. So it's not just Ms Chong that I've let down, I disappoint myself too.
My mom asked me if I've regretted for not doing better. But I asked myself,
I can only regret if there was something that I could have done about it but didn't. The thing is, I did everything I could, the effort was just...not paid off. So was there really anything I could regret about? I can blame the stupid cold air conditioner that day, or the stomach pain in the morning, or the inability to put aside that emotional hurt during the exam period. But in the end all the blame just boils down to one thing: Me
And as a result: all this shit I'm having to face with now.
