Down in the Dumps...
I don't know why these problems spring up all of a sudden. It's like this whole situation is dumped on me all at once. I have no idea what am I going to do...I just know I don't like it.
I have people lying to me, people who suddenly became this whole other person that I don't even know anymore. Then there are those who act as if I'm their no 1 best friend when I hardly know them. People who ignore me like I've offended them ( I have no idea if I did ).
During choir today, Ms Ong told us to sing without scores and to focus, which meant really paying attention to OURSELVES. But I fumbled and lost myself amidst the singing, so I was glancing at the scores in front of me. And Ms Ong thought I was busy looking at others and not paying attention to my own singing, so she stopped the entire choir to single me out.
"You, do you even want to sing? Why are you looking at other people for?!"No. I don't want to sing, I have to. And I don't think there is anyone in front of me to look at anyway. Why does she even care about me? A miserable MEMBER? I'm trying to get it right and yet I'm accused of not focusing. Yes, It was wrong of me to sidetrack, but then again, if I had stopped singing halfway, I would have gotten reprimanded anyway. I'm so tired of this....
As if JC isn't enough a struggle as it is, now I've got CCA and friends to be burdened with. Zaleena said in class today that
stress only makes us prepared for the final battle. I don't think I can even last through half of it...
Because of your lies, I see the truth...and it hurts...
